For Heavy Feelers

I’ve often caught myself unsure as to why my heart was aching or why I was tripping over my words. I never understood why my heart pounds when I raise my hand in class, or why I can’t breathe at night due to overthinking.

I have been told on more than one occasion that I am just plain over emotional. Until about a month ago I believed this to be true.

For those of us who cry for “no reason.” For those of us who are extra excited, and for those of us who cannot change our anger, there is a reason.

My best friend told me this once after having a fight with her: “You feel emotion so strongly. When you are sad, you’re really sad. When you’re mad, you’re really mad. And when you’re happy, there’s nothing better. You feel all of these emotions so strongly, and that’s not a bad thing.”

After hearing that comment, I began to dissect my own thought processes. I began to analyze why I feel the way I do, when I do. I even tried to research the topic, but I found that typing in “those who feel emotions strongly” brought me to a google list of what could be wrong with me. So instead I started to figure it out myself.

I am aware that emotional intensity is rare. I am not new to the fact that I feel alone in my little world of emotional triggers. But I decided to write this for those who may be like me and are still unsure of how to think of it.

It’s stressful. We walk on eggshells throughout our everyday lives in hopes that we will avoid any type of sad or angry triggers. We often shut our doors and cry to ourselves, or take a long needed shower because water doesn’t judge us. We tense up with joy because we don’t know how else to contain it besides laughing really hard or screaming a little. Our significant others don’t understand our need to constantly touch or be in contact with them. We often need to be reminded that we are loved, and when we are we are in the clouds.

Even though parts of having Emotional Intensity can be daunting and scary, it can also be amazing. I am going to go through sadness, anger, happiness and love.

SADNESS: Most of this emotion stems from our exhausting ability to overthink everything. It is one of the main reasons why we fight with our significant others. If we said something, anything, and you sorta-kinda reacted in a not-so-positive way, we will think about that nonstop until you have reassured us about 2o times that you’re okay. We will also be extremely down on ourselves about it for the rest of the day. It’s rare that we are sad for something you did. Well, not that you never did anything wrong, but I can promise you that we will probably be a little too sad about it. Have patience at these moments, they don’t last long.

ANGER: We have a hard time keeping our mouths closed when something makes us angry. We feel very strongly about disrespect or rudeness. We take it to heart, literally. Our blood pressure sky rockets and we can’t control how hard our hearts are pounding. We often need time to ourselves to recollect or else there will be a spew of words that may be considered irrational or hurtful. Let us have this time.

HAPPINESS: When it comes to being happy, it doesn’t take much. Hell, sometimes just asking how our day was can lift our spirits. Happiness comes easy to us. It doesn’t take rocket science to bring us out of a bad mood and we almost never hold grudges. Simple things brighten our days, really. The best part about this is that even in my saddest moments, I know there is a possibility to turn it around.

LOVE: We love very deeply, whether the love is of friendship, family, or romance. If we love you, we really love you. For the people we love, we feel even your emotions. We take on your happiness, your sadness. When you’re hurt, we’re hurt. If we love you, we will do anything to keep you. We will tell you on a daily basis how much you mean to us because we can’t contain the feeling and just need to express it.

Having strong emotions, I’ve decided, is something I may never fully understand. I get that I feel things stronger than others, however, I still don’t know why. I will continue my search for that evidence. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this…

Emotions make us human, don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself.




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